🌼 A Simpler Holiday: Boundaries, Budgets & Letting Go
Welcome to this Start Fresh mini from the Om WOW Podcast! Let’s reset our mindset and start the week with clarity and intention.
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Episode #38: Transcript
Today I wanna dive into holiday stress, especially as it relates to all the shopping, spending and doing that really seem to dominate this time of year.
So many people are running around fighting for Black Friday deals, late night shopping, decorating, hosting, travel, social obligations, and so much more. And for a lot of people that pressure can just feel relentless.
But what if I told you you don't have to buy into all of it? Not fully, at least not at the expense of your peace.
The Real Cost of Holiday Pressure
So what's the real cost of holiday pressure? One of the biggest stressors during the holidays is money, according to a survey by the American Institute of Stress. About 70% of Americans report feeling stressed during the holiday period with financial pressure topping the list of what contributes most to that stress.
That aligns with what people are actually experiencing. The costs pile up fast: gifts, travel, meals, decorations, fancy outfits, and many feel that they must spend to “make it special.” They don't wanna disappoint somebody else.
But here's the hard truth. That pressure often comes from external expectations, not from what we genuinely need or want. And for some, that stress manifests into real financial consequences.
Lending Tree shared that a recent survey found 36% of Americans took on holiday debt with an average balance coming in around $1,181.Many of those people didn't even plan to go into debt, and afterward a large portion of them feel stressed out about carrying that balance.
That's the cost of missing a boundary, friends! Of trying to do it all and of believing that love equals spending and what happens after the holidays.
The January Blues & Domino Effect
Let's talk about what those numbers actually mean in real life, because when January rolls around, those credit cards are gonna start coming in. Suddenly you're looking at minimum payments that barely touch the principal. And interest rates can make that $1,181 grow every single month.It can create a sinking feeling that you're starting your new year in a financial hole.
For many people, this creates a domino effect. They're stressed about money, which affects their relationships. They snap at their partner over spending. They lose sleep.
They put off other financial goals, like building an emergency fund, or finally getting serious about retirement savings. People put those kinds of things off because they're still paying off December.
We’re Being Manipulated
And here's what really gets me– the retailers, the big companies and the marketers– they know exactly what they're doing. They've spent decades training us to believe that the holidays require consumption.
That love has a price tag that if you're not spending, you're not participating. The music, the ads, the doorbuster deals, it's all designed to create urgency and to tap into your fear of missing out or letting people down.
But there's a cultural shift happening. More and more people are waking up to this and asking, well, what if we just didn't? What if we opted out of the parts that don't serve us anymore?
Daring to be Wicked Different
Let me tell you about my personal experience. And yes, it's not normal for those who don't know me yet. There are many things I don't do the normal way, the expected way in our American culture.
My senior quote in my high school yearbook was “One who follows the crowd will never be followed by a crowd.” I used to think that was from Einstein, but apparently it's now attributed to unknown.
Anyway, I chose this quote because even then I understood that thinking for yourself and having the courage to not blindly follow what the masses are doing, even though it's difficult, was important to me. It felt true then even before all the research study and personal growth I've done in the decades since.
Yep. I said decades. Crazy how time flies.
I'm personally not a fan of materialism at all and prefer a quality minimalist lifestyle. I remember questioning the purpose of many of our American holidays, even when I was young enough to actually enjoy the various candies and presents.
Now, I know that many of America's holiday traditions stem from retailers just trying to get us to buy more stuff, but that's a rant for another day. I won't get up on the soapbox for that right now.
My husband and I are two of the few Americans who don't do Christmas, at least not in the traditional sense. We don't put up lights, we don't decorate a tree, we don't send Christmas cards… and this is what you're gonna find most shocking…
You Stopped WHAT?!?
[Drum roll] We stopped giving gifts about five years ago. Wicked strange?
Maybe, but it is so nice to have a peaceful end to the year instead of participating in the stress of late night shopping, long lines and freaking out over what to get each person. I know you know what I'm talking about.
After your children have grown up, it can be so challenging to know what the heck a 3-year-old likes. Or what an 11-year-old is into, especially when you're thinking about relatives you rarely see. I didn't like scrambling to make sure I had a gift for everyone on the list, not knowing what the person would really like or if the gift we chose was a duplicate of something that they already had.
It can be stressful the other way too.What do you do when you open a present that confuses you or a new shirt that's nowhere near your size? As the person who lovingly chose that item for you is looking at you for your reaction. And then if you receive a gift that isn't quite your style, do you then keep it for eternity so you don't offend the gift giver?
A Refreshing Response
I remember the first season when my daughter's boyfriend learned that we don't do gift giving. His reaction was awesome. He got it. He said something like “Sweet!” for not having any pressure to attempt to get us a gift when he really didn't know us very well. That's the reaction I wish more people would have!
My holiday decisions are not meant to be like I'm saying, I'm not giving you a gift because I don't care. My message is actually, I love you and care about your wellbeing. Everyone in our extended family has more than we need. I choose to give donations to organizations that help people who actually have needs, and I encourage my family members to do the same instead of buying gifts for me and my husband that we don't need.
Not Decking the Halls
Now, the tree is another matter. Why did we stop putting up a tree? Simply because after the kids moved out, it just felt like a chore to lug everything down from the attic, fluff out the tree, decorate it, and then do the whole thing in reverse. Two weeks later. It felt kind of pointless.
I can't remember which we stopped first. I think it was the presents the first year we eased into it. I remember that we still filled stockings for each other, but eliminated everything else.
I really enjoyed having a beautiful Christmas tree when our kids were younger, and that's probably the only thing I miss. I'm pretty sure if we are ever blessed with grandchildren that we'll start decorating again.
But eliminating gift giving with my husband just makes us happy. Yeah, it was odd the first few years we did it, it felt like something was missing. You know, it was just a weird holiday feeling. But now we both find it so relaxing.
We still enjoy Christmas lights, but we do it by driving around town with some hot cocoa to enjoy how other people have decorated their houses. And bonus, we don't have to stand on ladders in the cold putting lights up or taking them down again.
A Season of Presence & Connection
It's not that I don't care, I just don't want the season to be defined by consumption. For me, I want it to be defined by presence, rest, and true connection. You know what? I really don't miss the stress of:
What the heck are we gonna give random-relative this year?
Did we get an even amount for each kid?
Did we just spend the same amount on this person and this person?
All the late nights wrapping presents.
I'm not a fan of all the trash and waste holidays like this create for our earth either. So do people think I'm cheap? Maybe. But what others think about me really is none of my business. Right?
Christmas is quieter in my house now for sure, but I SO enjoy not spending December distracted by my to-do list. Worried about what my credit card balance is gonna be. That brings me to something I really wanna highlight here.
Please, please, please know that you don't have to go into debt for the holidays.In fact, it's a gift to yourself and your future self to set financial boundaries now. It really burns me how Americans go into debt to show their love.
It does not have to be this way, people!
Apparently I have so much to say about this, that it became too long for a mini, so I've split this into two parts. We'll explore the rest next Sunday, but for now, let's get into this week's challenge.
This Week’s Challenge
This week I challenge you to get real about last year's holiday. Pull up your bank statements from last November and December and add up what you actually spent. No judgment, just awareness. You're gonna probably be surprised, but once you know the number, you can decide if that felt good or if you wanna do something differently this year .
We'll talk about ideas for how to do things differently in the next Sunday Start Fresh Mini. Have a fabulous week my friends!
If this mini gave you a mindset boost, pass it on! Comment below & let me know— your energy makes a difference.
SOURCES:
https://www.lendingtree.com/credit-cards/study/holiday-season-debt/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Meet Our Host: Jennifer Robin O’Keefe
Jennifer Robin serves as a relatable, down-to-earth, REAL Wellness & Success Coach. She’s not a fancy, perfect makeup, airbrushed kind of woman. She’s been told many times, in a variety of environments, that she’s easy to talk to, and makes others feel welcome and comfortable. Her mission in life is both simple and profound: to make others feel worthy.
Professionally, Jennifer holds several wellness certifications including Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping, Thought Field Therapy (TFT) Tapping, Reiki, and more. She continuously expands her knowledge in the fields of Qi Gong, Xien Gong, Vibration/Energy Wellness and Natural Health. She also studied extensively with Jack Canfield, and serves as a Certified Canfield Trainer, authorized to teach "The Success Principles."
She’s an active reader and researcher who loves to learn, and one of her biggest joys is teaching and sharing what she’s discovered with others.
