Who Are You When Nobody's Watching? Showing Up as Your Full Self with Michelle J. Howe
Episode #60: Show Notes
We have all heard the advice to "fake it till you make it." For many professionals, this becomes a daily performance where you act out the version of yourself you think the world will accept or want. You might put on a specific act to survive in a certain space, but eventually, there is a fallout because it is not truly all of you stepping forward.
Michelle J. Howe, founder of Empath Evolution, joined me on the show to talk about how we can drop these facades and create success that feels like peace– not pressure.
📖 Transcript for this episode (PDF)
Listen to the full episode:
Being an Imposter in Your Own Life
Imposter syndrome is not actually about how competent or smart you are. It is a form of bartering who you are in order to make a situation work. When you deny certain sides of yourself to fit into a professional box, you create a total disconnect. While we all want to put our best foot forward, many of us end up with a fragmented life where we shine in one section but have "fuzzy and mucky" areas we ignore or deny. We wear different masks for church, for work, or even for our kids' soccer games. You feel like an imposter because you cannot show up as you are; you have to show up as what they think you are.
Social Media, Perfection & Exhaustion
This performance is incredibly visible on social media. Some people are putting on a show that is worthy of an Emmy, but it is only for the screen. If there is too much deviance between your internal reality and your external show, a subconscious disconnect occurs. People can often sense when someone is not being genuine, even if they do not have a word for it.
It is exhausting to try to be perfect every day. Clinging to outside things like wealth, status, or beauty standards is a trap because looks fade and life happens. When you are always in performance mode, you never truly get the chance to let your hair down and discover who you really are.
Choosing Vulnerability Over Perfection
I fell into this trap myself recently. When I started my YouTube Channel, I was advised to use AI-enhanced images for my thumbnails. At a glance, it looked professional, and I even started to identify with that perfected version of myself. But when I looked at the eyes of that fake version of me, they looked flat and lifeless. Even though it was "accepted marketing advice," it felt inauthentic. I eventually scrapped it all and replaced the images with candid headshots showing imperfect lighting, stray hairs, and wrinkles. It felt vulnerable, but it was finally aligned with the real me.
The Fears That Keep Us Masked
Most of us stay stuck in performance mode because of three common fears:
Fear of judgment: Wondering "who does she think she is?"
Fear of competence: Worrying you will be seen as less credible
Fear of rejection: Fearing people will not like the real you
We are often put into a mental framework that keeps us from exploring these deeper parts of ourselves. We might even be afraid of what we will find if we go to those places. But when we drop these masks, it helps everyone.
I learned this during my EFT Tapping training. I once had to show up to class visibly exhausted and wearing bulky sweatpants after a family emergency. I felt exposed and embarrassed, yet when the teacher asked the class for their impressions of my energy, they said I was approachable, grounded, and warm. My most "undone" self was actually more magnetic than my polished version.
Practical Steps to Being Your More Authentic
There is a self-shaming and self-silencing programming that women often face regarding beauty standards and "fitting the ideal."To break free, you must first recognize where you are not feeling great.
You can start the process of integrating all parts of yourself with these journaling questions:
Where in my life do I feel like I am pretending?
What am I afraid would happen if I stopped wearing a mask there?
How would I prefer to show up if I was not afraid?
You can also try a "Mask-Drop Challenge." Identify one situation where you usually perform and try showing up just five percent more as yourself this week. When you shift internally and resolve those "murky" aspects, everything else in your life starts to fall into line.
Consider this your permission slip to stop dimming yourself down. You do not have to be the version that has it all together or performs for the room; you can just be you.
Meet Our Guest: Michelle J. Howe
Michelle J. Howe is a visionary leader and founder of Empath Evolution™, where she helps accomplished professionals transform their contemplative gifts into conscious, strategic influence. With her distinctive background as both a CPA and certified energy healer, Michelle bridges business strategy with profound inner transformation through her signature program Expansion to Joy™—a six-month journey for professionals ready to exchange pressure for presence and embody Living Resonance™. Her mission: to lead a global evolution where sensitive, deep-thinking professionals no longer hide their depth but lead from it—creating success that feels like peace, not pressure.
Connect with Michelle:
Free Expansion to Joy Consultation
Meet Our Host: Jennifer Robin O’Keefe
Jennifer Robin is always searching for the next thing that might help: the book, the practice, the reframe you didn't know existed but turns out to be exactly what you needed.
Through conversations with experts, authors, and everyday humans, along with personal reflection, Jennifer focuses on bridging the gap between "woo" and practical, accessible self-support. Her work is rooted in the belief that wellness is not about fixing yourself, but about remembering your worth and finding what genuinely works for you.
She has spent decades exploring personal growth, energy healing, and mind-body wellness. She's trained in EFT Tapping and coaching, tools she often references in her conversations. She's not positioning herself as an expert who has it all figured out. She approaches her work with humility, curiosity, and deep respect for individual experience.
Jennifer is a lifelong learner who cherishes books and notebooks. She loves diving into research and sharing what she learns in a way that feels relatable, compassionate, and pressure-free. These conversations are an invitation: to ask your own questions, gather perspectives that resonate, and build a life that actually feels good to you.